The World According to Claire.

Me: Hey girls, do yall want to help me unload the dishwasher?
C: Mmmmm...how bout I could eat something while you unload the dishwasher...

Me: (in response to 80% of Claire's questions in my entire life) Maybe that's one you should ask your Daddy when he gets home.
C: Yeah, Daddy will know. He knows everything. He's a physithaperithist. (translation: physical therapist)

C: Hey Mom, can you consequate?
Me: Hmmm, I don't know. I'm not really sure what that means...
C: What does consequate mean?
Me: I don't know, honey. You're the one who said it; you tell me what it means.
C: Consequate means...you tell a story...from the Old Testament or the New Testament. That's consequate. Can you consequate?

***

C: Mom, I'm a Junus.
Me: What's a Junus?
C: A Junus means I'm growed up.

***

The worst insult Claire could come up with in the heat of the moment, when the Coach told her she couldn't have any more strawberries (b/c she had already eaten watermelon, pineapple, blueberries, and strawberries...within the past hour...)

(With all the vengeance in the world, both in her face and her voice):

"You're a number 2 and a half!!!!"

Me: I'm so tired, Claire. Can I take a nap?
C: No, you have to keep the children!

(Another episode of the "Would You Rather" game with Claire...)

C: Do you like lipstick....or milk?
Me: Milk.
C: Why don't you like lipstick?
Me: I do like lipstick. But if I had to choose only one, I would choose milk.
C: Okay. Do you like lipstick...or playing the piano?

At 8:00 this morning...

C: (walking into the kitchen) Mom, can me and Averi Kate take a bath? In your bathtub?
Me: (laughing) Ummm...well...Yeah, I guess you can, if you want to!
C: (walking out of the room) Nah, I don't want to. I was just telling you.

In the car...

C: This water tastes funny!
Me: (unsure of how long that water bottle had been in the car) Well don't drink it if it tastes funny!

A few minutes later...

Me: Claire! Is Averi Kate drinking that water?!?
C: Yeah, I gave it to her.
Me: Honey, if it tastes funny she doesn't need to drink it either!
C: Well it doesn't taste funny to her...
Me: (sigh...how can you argue with that kind of logic?)

For Father's Day a couple of weeks ago, Claire completed the following sentences...

My dad is funny because he is always funny.
My dad thinks I am funny when I do funny things.
My dad is ___ years old. It is tricky.
His favorite thing to do is play tennis.
His favorite color is black.
My dad's job is: he helps people.
He loves to eat spaghetti.
He is really good at working on the truck.
My dad loves when I: everyday.
My dad always says I love you.
My favorite thing about my dad is playing with him.